A Series of Unfortunate Body Swaps
by SharpieSam
Summary: Dipper should have learned the first time that Bill never gives just friendly handshakes. ONESHOT [MabelxBill] [DipperxPacifica]


**A/N: Before you read, take note that this is a BillxMabel and PacificaxDipper fanfic! **

**That is all! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Bill you better take responsibility for this!"

"Shut up, Pine Tree. You're as guilty as me."

"You started this!" Dipper hissed.

"Oh stop acting like a child!" Bill said. Suddenly the door creaked open and both Bill and Dipper stiffened.

"Dipper? Bill? What are you two doing here?" Mabel asked with confusion. The two hardly ever got along and they could never be in the same room together without something going horribly wrong. With that thought Mabel's eyes lit up and a grin stretched on her cheeks.

"Are you guys actually friends now?" Mabel squealed with excitement.

"No, no, no. Mabel it's not what you think!" Dipper exclaimed but Mabel wasn't listening.

"Oh Bill I'm so proud of you!" Mabel exclaimed and pounced onto her boyfriend giving him a quick kiss before he could even reply. An awkward silence hung in the air before a voice interrupted it.

"Shooting Star! How could you do that? I'm literally standing right here!" Mabel pulled away in shock and looked over to Dipper in confusion. Dipper never called her shooting star. That was Bill's nickname for her. Her face paled and she quickly loosened her arm around "Bill's" chest. His face was completely mortified as well. Realization sank in and she ran out the room screaming.

* * *

"So explain to me EXACTLY what happened?" Mabel said scrubbing out her mouth. She still didn't want to believe she just kissed her brother who was trapped in her boyfriend's body.

* * *

"Just admit it Dipper, mine is WAY bigger." Bill boasted with his chest high.

"Nice try, Bill but I think it's obvious that MINE is WAY bigger." Dipper replied without hesitation.

"Pfft. You think you can even compare to my size?" Bill smartly replied.

"Then maybe you can turn around and see for yourself!" Dipper responded. Bill hesitated at first but didn't want to seem worried as he turned around. It was hard to keep his gasp in when he saw the towering house of cards Dipper had created. Indeed, it was bigger than his, but of course he wasn't about to admit it.

"Ha! Your speechless says it all Bill. Ready to admit that even an all powerful being like you can't win everything?" Dipper asked with a smug look. Of course Bill was not going to have any of this. He gave a tired sigh.

"Well Pine Tree I guess you got me on this one." Bill huffed sarcastically. "I'm not as powerful as I thought. I guess even I can't win everything." Bill held out his hand for a handshake and Dipper took it without hesitating.

"Haha Just Kidding!" Bill exclaimed and before Dipper could react he felt himself being pulled forward and onto the floor.

"Ow! What the heck Bill?" Dipper groaned and got back on his feet, but he found himself just falling over again in shock when he saw his body hovering over him.

"Haha! Here's Bipper!" Bill' s voice cackled in Dipper's body. "Now I have the biggest house of cards!"

"What the heck Bill! You promised no demonic powers!" Dipper scolded.

"Tsk, tsk Pine Tree! All's fair in cards and war!" Bill proclaimed.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Dipper fumed. It was then that Dipper's eyes landed on a blonde figure lying sprawled on the ground. He smirked as an idea brewed in his head. This did not go unnoticed by the dream-demon.

"Dipper don't even think about it." Bill said using Dipper's real name to show how serious he was.

"Then give me back my body!" Dipper said. Bill turned his back to Dipper and crossed his arms.

"No." He said with a stubborn huff. Dipper rolled his eyes and made a dive for the dream demon's vessel.

* * *

"Dipper you should know better than to shake Bill's hand without expecting a consequence. " Mabel scolded.

"Mabel this is serious. We're both stuck in each other's bodies." Dipper groaned.

"Why can't you just use Bill's demon magic to get back?" Mabel asked.

"Well, Shooting Star, I can get out of Pine Tree's body easily because I've possessed a vessel before. Pine Tree, on the other hand, has no idea how that works. It took me centuries to figure out how to possess bodies. It's not exactly easy." Bill explained.

"Yeah I guess that's a bit troublesome." Mabel said with a pondering expression. "Hm, well what about-"a knock at the door interrupted Mabel's thought and she ran to the door with an, "I got it!" The door swung open to reveal Pacifica Northwest. "Oh hey Pacifica. What are you doing here?" Mabel asked, although she probably already knew the answer.

"Just wanted to spend some time with Dipper. My parents are being total a-" Pacifica started to walk towards Dipper but was stopped by Mabel. "What I can't spend some time with my boyfriend?" Pacifica asked slightly irritated.

"Might want to stop yourself before you make the same mistake Shooting Star made, Llama." Pacifica looked at "Dipper" with a dumbfounded expression. She only knew one person who used such tacky nicknames. She looked over at Bill's body for confirmation.

"Hi Paz…" Dipper mumbled with embarrassment. "Sorry you had to see me like this."

Pacifica fainted.

* * *

"You know, I shouldn't be surprised that this happened after seeing all the weirdness of Gravity Falls." Pacifica said still slightly dazed.

"Hey, you handled it better than Mabel. She ran in the room and-" Mabel quickly slapped her hand over her brother's mouth, which was still odd since her boyfriend's voice was coming from it.

"We are never to speak of that again, Bill" Mabel hissed.

"So what ideas have you guys come up with to get them back to normal?" Pacifica inquired.

"What is your definition of normal?" Bill joked. Mabel elbowed her brother in the ribs hard.

"Mabel! Careful! That's still my body!" Dipper scolded.

"It's a lot more sarcastic then I remember." Mabel remarked. Bill opened his mouth to remark but was cut off by Pacifica.

"Guys seriously we need to get this sorted out!" Pacifica said with seriousness. "Dipper has to be at dinner with my parents and me tonight! I am not taking the king of sarcasm here." Pacifica said gesturing to the demon currently in Dipper's body.

"Aw, I'm flattered." Bill replied. Mabel stomped on his foot. Pacifica rolled her eyes at the two and turned to Dipper who was currently in Bill's body flipping through his journal.

"Dipper, please tell me your journal has a solution." Pacifica begged. Dipper frantically flipped through the pages.

"I'm trying Paz but honestly this is the first time I've seen body swapping happen…" Dipper mused. Mabel shook her head.

"Dipper, really? The FIRST time you've seen body swapping?" Mabel said hinting towards something. Dipper stared at her in confusion for a few seconds before his eyes lit up.

"The carpet!" Dipper said and raced up the stairs.

"Hey! Get back over here with my body Pine Tree!" Bill said racing after him followed by Pacifica and Mabel.

Dipper dug through the storage room tossing aside old glasses, jars, and other creepy items. Mabel, Bill, and Pacifica waited just outside the door when suddenly a large rug plopped right out. Pacifica grimaced and sneezed at the dust floating out of it.

"That has got to be the ugliest rug I have ever seen." She said with disgust. Dipper got right to rolling it out.

"This ugly rug is going to save us!" Dipper replied and checked the tag. "Yep. Here it is. Experiment 78." He said reading off the tag.

"Experiment 78?" Bill said with confusion.

"Yep. This is the rug that switched Mabel and me a few years ago." Dipper explained removing his shoes. Mabel went ahead and took off Bill's shoes for him.

"Wait, you and Mabel switched bodies? When did this happen?" Pacifica asked wanting an answer.

"It's a long story Paz. I'll explain once I get back into my body. Bill's body is annoyingly skinny." Dipper joked.

"It's slim!" Bill growled. Dipper rubbed his feet on the carpet starting up the static charge.

"This carpet works through static electricity." Dipper explained. Bill started to do the same and the blue sparks started to charge around them. "Once two charged bodies come in contact with each other, the bodies will switch."

"Seems simple enough." Bill inquired. "I'd say I'm ready to be back in my non-sweaty body." Bill said with his hand outstretched.

"I should be weary about shaking your hand but at this point nothing worse could happen." Dipper reasoned and stretched out his hand as well when suddenly a pig squeal was heard. The two stopped and looked at the stairs where a familiar swine was racing up.

"Waddles?" Mable yelped in shock as the pig raced past her.

"Wait, wait! He wants my pants! Don't let him eat my pants!" Bill cried out mostly at Mabel.

"Waddles! Don't you dare!" Mabel scolded and raced after the pig. Pacifica's eyes widened.

"Wait, Mabel! Don't-" she raced after the pig and owner and the whole bunch toppled onto the carpet along with the two fully charged boys.

* * *

"Ow." Dipper groaned and saw his body lying in front of him. "Darn. I thought for sure that would have-"

"-Worked!" Dipper looked over and saw Bill back to his normal self standing up dusting himself off. "Wow. For once you're crazy supernatural ideas actually worked, Pine Tree!" Bill helped Mabel to her feet.

"Wait, but if you're back in your body then who's-" A girlish scream echoed through the room.

"Dipper Pines! You give me back my body this instant!" Pacifica's voice sounded from Dipper's body and Dipper gulped looking down at his hands. Sure enough, they were his girlfriend's petite polished ones.

"Well, I guess this could be worse." Dipper mused and helped his own body up off the ground.

"Haha. Sucks for you Pine Tree." Bill laughed and gave Mabel a quick kiss.

"Aw, Bill I want a kiss too!" Mable's voice sounded. Bill looked down expecting the voice to come from Mabel's body but felt a nudge at his ankles. He turned and saw the pink pig staring up at him with familiar eyes. Bill's face paled and he looked back at Mabel's body.

"Oink."

Bill ran out the room screaming.

"Well, dinner with your parents is going to be awkward tonight, right Paz?"


End file.
